Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want to fling myself into the sun
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize