Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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