All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
