I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
