What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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