and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
