I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize