I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
