You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
