I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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