I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
