wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
