3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
