butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize