he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?