You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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