I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
