is your mom at the bar?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize