Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
is wine microwaveable?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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