He kissed a someone with a penis
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize