She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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