i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
