there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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