i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
