shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
