I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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