You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
