i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
