Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
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it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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