She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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