so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
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He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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