dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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