life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
