Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize