and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
