...so i touched it.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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