I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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