Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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