Got a toothbrush?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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