There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
