The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
