I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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