new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
