So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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