I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
