mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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