every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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