turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
