Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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