I can text with my tongue
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize