but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
