can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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