You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
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We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
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Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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