Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
