Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
