Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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